Friday, September 27, 2013

Water fast day 7

weight: 99 lbs

-not hungry today, but watching cooking shows, which seems counter-intuitive but has been really intertaining exploring the enormous connection that we have to food.

-I got light headed upon standing a couple times and had to sit a bit to acclimate...I spend a lot of time half laying down

-I've had this interesting moist spot on my wrist that comes up whenever I eat something less than ideal that has been happening for years...it's almost like a clammy feeling. It happened today and upon pondering I thought, well, whatever that weird thing is, it's coming up to be healed. And then I thought, what IS that weird thing? And then I had a vision of when I was a kid and I got a watch for my birthday and after wearing it for a short time I got a rash where the metal was touching the skin. I was looking at my wrist and I saw the distinct impression of the watch circle and the kind of patchie colored skin the rash had caused but the rash wasn't really there. A doctor then told us I must be really sensitive to metals and if we painted the back with nail polish it should be fine and I should try to keep cheap metals off my skin...so I bet I've got a deposit of metals sitting in there that is finally being conquered. It's really intersting how you get clarity on where all these old aches and pains came from, like the vaccine in the arm thing...I hadn't thought about those things since they happened and they were suddenly brought to my awareness with the clarity that this intense healing is bringing.

-I'm pretty weak but I can do anything I set my mind to...but I prefer to sit and rest and let the body do it's work. I had a massage here and it was nice and then I walked to the mailbox which was refreshing. I feel like if I needed to go to the store I could but I'm glad I don't have to, it doesn't sound like fun :)

-the mild headache comes and goes so I have periods of relief and it's so minor anyway that it's quite tolerable

-day 7 is the day I quit on my last fast for which I didn't set a goal. I felt extremely weak with a lot of stressful thoughts and worries so I just kind of threw in the towel. Today I feel really strong willed and like I just started and I'm ready to go for the complete healing. All my usual worries are covered with help from friends and I have no stress so I'm ready to take this window in my life and be committed to this path I've embarked on. I also feel like if I quit now it would do more damage than good because all the healing processes are just getting started and I don't want to halt them....so I would call this day, "over the hump"

-Haven't felt like doing anything artistic but I do keep jotting down recipe ideas as childhood comfort foods come to the surface and thing, hell, no wonder I've depreciated to such a degree considering what I lived on for the first 3 quarters of my life. I've been a vegan 9 years and mostly raw for 7 and done countless cleansing protocols and I'm still a disasterpiece theatre so I can't imagine what people my age and beyond are dealing with...I'll be 40 on Christmas but I think 40 is the new 30 :)

-every once in a while I feel that stomach shrinking feeling that we associate with hunger and I think, hmmm...what should I eat? And then I remember I'm fasting and I sigh and think, oh yeah, refreshing delicious water.

-I lose my train of thought easily so that's enough for this journal I think, but I definitely feel guided in this process and I have felt completely safe the whole time as if I am surrounded by many angels urging me on, excited and happy for me

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