Water fast day 8

weight: 97.6 lbs

-woke up with a hard pulse, slightly elevated (for me) normal range for me is 60-70 (general normal is 60-100bpm)and this morning was 80...still very in normal range and in all the reading I've done to prepare for this fast, and elevated heart rate is part of the process that signals deep cleansing so I was nervous for a while because it was so present to feel when you normally aren't too aware of your heartbeat but it seems to have calmed a bit and my guidance says I'm fine.

-weaker than previous, have to catch my breath after walking to the bathroom and back...not winded like you just ran a block, but just need time to get back to a regular breathing pace as walking is an effort.

-received one of those nasty emails I haven't dealt with in a while...someone posted on my fb status that my ideas were out there to say the least. I did not respond to him I just deleted him. I don't know why people want to be on my social networks who just want to debate my ideas, it doesn't make sense. If I don't care for someone's views I avoid them rather than follow every little thing they say just to disagree. Anyway, apparently unfriending him torked him off and he wrote me two long messages about the usual things...I'm so egotistical as to think my ideas are above everyone else and above scientific inquiry and oh you think your so much better than everyone because you are fasting blah blah blah and I've gotten too religious ect ect...I've never been religious, I love God and I'm incredibly grateful for all my guidance and angelic support. Screw you if you don't get it. I had zero interest in engaging him in his negativity as I of course know the stages of truth (first stage: ridicule) and when people attack me they are just attacking themselves so I simply blocked him. I will no longer engage this kind of belittling behavior, what is the stupid point? Our egos get into these pissing matches and it solves nothing.

-a little while after I sat with the frustration of being misunderstood and having my person attacked all the time I just started to take in how hard this work is and I cried. I was focusing on how difficult this fast is while I was crying but I think I just needed to purge a lot of stored emotions...and my sense of humor was up there in my brain thinking, "I hope I'm not losing too much salt water" lol). The thing is, this is a huge commitment I have made to become a better person, to become a healthier person. We so often want to do things in the world to make it a better place and we work on the external while we are killing ourselves (example: people who do missions overseas for "starving" countries and still eat roast beef for dinner which is killing their body). My feeling is that there is nothing better we can do for humanity than to better ourselves...to give to the world a stronger person with more clarity. The more we help ourselves, the more we help others.

-last night before I went to bed I wasn't uber tired and I had the tv on and I was thinking if I would find a movie to watch or just lay down with my thoughts until I fell asleep. I got the message to turn the tv off and then I sat there in the dark and as my eyes began to adjust to the darkness I was having this feeling of beings around and then a very sing-songy female voice talking really fast like super excited started in with, "oh my gosh, Crystal, you are doing amazing, you are HEALING! We are so excited for you, isn't it amazing?" ect on like that for a while...the talking was so fast I was barely keeping up, it was all inspirational and I got teary eyed with pride, I'm on the right path and I'm being supported and then I started asking specific questions about things in my mind and each one was answered in clear detail...like, "this pain here, is it ok?" "yes that is such and such healing, the body knows what it's doing" ect like that until I felt completely at ease and really overwhelmed with gratitude and finally laid down...had a hard time getting comfortable before I finally drifted off. Ooops, there I go being all religious and self important again ;)

-I was going to put off doing another colonic but it started to feel like I had to poo and nothing would come out and pushing took so much energy I couldn't hang. I'm so glad I went to the effort. I did see a couple more worms floating and most everything else was so hard and compacted it sank to the bottom where I couldn't see it, it was quite a bit and it was a real relief. I mention the sinking thing because usually my stool is all vegetation and it floats. With no water or food going into the bowels there is nothing to push it out and the body is slow to move it without something coming along behind it. I felt like I needed it and it really helped a lot. Apparently most fasting clinics don't recommend colonics or enemas but even the Essene Gospel of Peace describes Jesus telling his followers when fasting to also run a gourd full of water with a pipe into their nether regions until the water runs clear. The Essene Gospel of Peace was left out of the bible so that's not really religious is it? (lol)

-my mild toxin headache dispersed after the colonic.

-another odd healing crisis (when the old injury returns to be healed, not really a crisis, that's just the terminology) came up today on my foot...it's red, vaguely bruised and painful and I think it's from when I recently dropped a jar of juice on my foot during a juice fast and it took a long time for the bruise to go away...obviously it never properly healed.

-lot's of stomach shrinking today giving the illusion of hunger. I've never made it to day 8 so I wasn't expecting that. Periodic hiccups and heartburn are annoying at times.

-I can read words on the tv without my glasses, wow!

-the ringing in my head/ears gets better and worse. Just like the headache.

-really glad to be almost through day 8!